“Wait.” It’s a four-letter word. No matter what age you are or how much your teachers and parents tried to teach you this skill, it never gets any easier. I’m in a stage of waiting. Waiting on God. Waiting for a phone call or an email from an admissions office. I know and I trust that no matter the outcome, it’s in God’s hands. And though I will be disappointed should I get rejected, I am still content because I only want to go where God leads and what I have here is so good. But all that said, this waiting for an answer is becoming a real test of my patience and even more so, my faith. The answer will provide two dramatically different results. So here I stand at a crossroads. Waiting. I feel numb. It’s like my thoughts don’t know what to think and my heart doesn’t know what to feel. For one of the first few times in my life I can honestly recognize that I cannot see past today.
This realization, however, is driving me to my knees. When I don’t know if I should look to the left or to the right – I look up. Up at God. I need to choose peace. The peace that comes only from surrendering my head and my heart into the hands of a loving and sovereign God. My life is not my own. It is His. This is all for Him. He will direct all my steps and right now He wants me to stand still.
Though I do not know what the future has in store, God knows. That should be enough for me. And though I do not know which way things are going to go, I need to remember that as a child of God, I will never be lost or directionless. God is my shepherd. So when things seem to be at a standstill, I will take the time to rest. To be still and praise God for His guidance and restoration and that He is with me – even in the wait.
Isaiah 58:11 [ESV]
“And the LORD will guide you continually
and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
like a spring of water,
whose waters do not fail.”
Psalm 25:4,5 [ESV]
“Make me to know your ways, O LORD;
teach me your paths.
Lead me in your truth and teach me,
for you are the God of my salvation;
for you I wait all the day long.”
Isaiah 40:31 [ESV]
“but they who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not be faint.”